| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2008|01:59 pm] |
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If anyone asks, I did it on purpose. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2008|01:33 pm] |
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Don LaFontaine died, and most of you might not know who that is, but he was the dude that did all those really intense voice overs for movie trailers. He was one of my favorite voice actors and actually my first choice for someone to narrate my life (Followed closely by James Earl Jones or Morgan Freeman, but he gets too much narration work as it is, so he probably wouldn't have time. Maybe David Attenborough is free...he can't be doing much since PLanet Earth ended...this thought is way too long to be the sort of side note that goes in parentheses). Anyways...so that sucks. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|02:02 am] |
Guys, I'm gonna level with you... fucking raccoons stole my hat.
Seriously? |
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| I'm in the business of breaking hearts |
[Feb. 27th, 2008|04:09 am] |
| [ | How it's hanging |
| |  vindicated | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Minus the Bear | ] |
Sometimes I can be so mean. So utterly mean to my core. To be so wrathful that it brings out an ugliness in me. I have, for the past few days, been that mean. And there's something oddly satisfying about it. It's like I'm making up for every time I just smiled and played along every time someone sleighted me. Like maybe I was just saving up all my meanness that would normally be spread out by venting it as it came instead of storing it up and eventually causing me to explode. I legitimately hurt someone today. And part of me feels really bad for doing that to someone, but another part of me feels entirely vindicated. And I fear that the part that feels bad just feeds the part that feels vindicated, because it's more I have to shrug off and store away, so my next vengeance is even meaner. I had better get back to writing my paper. However, the last thing on my mind when I go to bed tonight is whether I want to reconcile or I want to continue my mean streak. Maybe rest will bring reason. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2008|07:15 pm] |
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Man, I need something really good to happen to me to me soon or else I am done with all this. |
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| That Kid... |
[Feb. 2nd, 2008|02:45 am] |
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Only you guys in my grade are gonna appreciate this, but I just remembered that I once hung out with Hussein. And only once. He came over to MJ's and I tried to teach him to use tabit, we hung out for a bit and he left. And that was it. |
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| I'm doing rad. |
[Jan. 21st, 2008|05:06 am] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Uncle Sam Goddamn- Brother Ali | ] |
I'm feeling really confident right now for some reason. Like I couldn't be denied anything right now. It's feel really rad and powerful, and I can't really remember the last time I felt this good. Let's hope this feeling lasts.
Brother Ali is spitting mean truth at me right now too.
Sun's coming up, so I should be going down, I've spent another night protect the night, watching out for all of you. But that's just what I do.
peace. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2007|03:45 am] |
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oh my god, i can hardly digest this sandwich is so intense. it's making my tongue bleed. it's delicious. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 13th, 2007|03:27 am] |
how does everyone out there feel about this statement:
"beef jerky is meat gum." |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|10:50 pm] |
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Nicole Merriwether Larkin is a thief of Octopus Santas. |
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| Rocking out with my stocking out |
[Dec. 5th, 2007|05:29 pm] |
| [ | How it's hanging |
| | good | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Zero- Smashing Pumpkins | ] |
So I just got done with band practice. It's going really well. The Love Enormous could soon be ocming to venue near you. Especially if you live in Morris. It's amazing how much just getting to play music can make my life ok. There's two things that can save me from myself, and I'm pretty sure one doesn't care about me anymore, the other is music. I don't need to self-medicate myself when I can just rock out. My life's ok for a little bit. Anyway, I'm going to the play tonight, and I'm looking forward to that. Then we're gonna come back here and eat a bunch of cookies. Christmas is coming, that's good news. It means time off school and presents, both to give and get. I'm pretty pumped for that. Well, I'm gonna go forage for some food in the desolate wasteland that is my house. But at least I've got the kitchen windows sealed so it's not so cold that ice forms on the windows anymore. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2007|05:57 am] |
Well it's 6 am and as promised, I'm still up writing my paper. I'm on page 12 and reviewing my last article. 14 hours, 6 cans of soda, 1 bag of chips, and panic attack later...
So I had a lot of trouble accepting my reality from about 8 o'clock on. I had a complete panic attack; it felt like my face was shrinking and I couldn't breathe. On top of it all, I couldn't tell if any of it was real or a dream. I was freaking out bad. But a friend came over and helped me calm down. For that I am thankful.
I am going to finish this paper, eat some mcdonald's breakfast, and maybe nap before class. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2007|07:34 pm] |
| [ | How it's hanging |
| |  Dystopic | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Wish You Were Here- Pink Floyd | ] |
Yesterday I sat in my basement and felt all the positive energy in the world flowing towards me. It was amazing. It was a like a cool breeze on my shoulders. You couldn't pry the smile off my face.
Then I woke up this morning, realized I have a 12 page paper due tomorrow, the sun is always down, and life pretty much sucks. I can't afford to keep living in the dream world, but I just wish the real world were a little bit more like it. I'm tired of having to escape this place. Oh well, only 7 year left anyway.
So now I'm here, trying to focus on this paper, but I can't for the life of me. Pink Floyd makes me happy, because it's so perfect for my mood. Just chill and dystopian. I will post again at 6 am when I am still up, still miserable, and still listening to Pink Floyd trying to write this fucking paper.
Good night. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2007|07:21 pm] |
Waking up when it's dark fucks with my reality, especially when I was up for a half hour in the day for a meeting. I'm not entirely sure today even exists. All I know is that I had the most wonderful dreams last night, and woke up very happy. But then I remembered that they are only dreams and was slightly dejected. But at least I got to live that reality briefly in my sleep. Tonight I'm gonna play some Cranium. Speaking of which, Melissa and Niki, you kids should come over and challenge me and NJ some day. And we can beat you so bad it'll take a week to sink in.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
-Brad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2007|01:47 am] |
I spent so much time defending you from others, believing your word over their's. And then I see you say one thing and do another. And I am sorry to those who told me truth that I didn't want to believe. And I'm sorry for wasting my time trying to defend someone as something they are not. You are who you are, no matter what the circumstances. These decisions are yours and I'm not here to chastise you for them. They are yours and you live with the consequences- it is not my place to tell you what is right and what is wrong. But I feel like this entire time you've lied to me about your feelings and thoughts, and why I'm not sure. Those who know me know I'm an honest man, to fault sometimes, and I feel that because I always tell the truth in a sometimes frank and direct manner when it comes down to it, that I'd like to at least get that back. I'm not going into specifics, but I hope you know. I don't feel like I even owe you this, but I'm gonna give you it anyway. You wanted to know why and you'll get this much- I've heard you say one thing and do another, and I don't care about what you did, but I do feel like you misrepresented yourself to me when I gladly would have accepted you for who you are. You are who you are, no matter what. I just wish you would have told me. And now you'll be anger and tell me I'm wrong about all this and I've got it all fucked up and backwards, and maybe I am, but maybe I'm not, all I know is that I really gotta stop trusting anyone who isn't me.
Two incidents, twice have I been lied to. Once by you, and once by another. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2007|05:02 am] |
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I ended up at home again. I wished so badly that tonight I'd be in the lake. I'm tired of this. I'm not that guy. I never have been. Maybe I should be, that guy gets what he wants, when he fucking wants it. but instead....just fuck it. game over. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2007|02:15 am] |
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I used to think I'd live forever. I was so sure of it. Now I don't even want to. At this rate, I'm not gonna make it past 27, and that's fine with me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2007|04:45 am] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Forces of Victory- Gogol Bordello | ] |
The new Gogol Bordello cd is so fucking good. I can't even believe it. I love this band too much. If I glean nothing else from my working at KUMM at least it will have lead to my discovery of Gogol Bordello, and that makes it totally worth it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2007|04:15 pm] |
I made some calls today.
Your dream will be coming true.
I also ate chinese.
My back hurts.
The day is short still, so that's all I have. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2007|04:10 am] |
| [ | How it's hanging |
| | naked | ] |
sometimes I seriously just spend hours on end just naked, sprawled out in my room. I need to shave. Tomorrow is important. I don't know why yet, but I will when it's over.
Sincerely,
The Brad. |
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